Single mom gets humbled after telling widow she doesn't know about being a single parent: 'You could just ask your husband for help'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 22, 2026 9:00 PM EST

There is no one-size-fits-all definition of parenthood, but more parents share common ground than they think.

For example, those who have a baby who never sleeps can feel extra isolated when their friends seem to have perfected the art of bedtime, but then their next kid turns out to have the exact same problems that they already went through. Or maybe they are struggling with their children being picky eaters, but then they realize that their friends do the same thing at dinner time.

The difficulties of parenthood can make it very easy for a struggling parent to feel like they are the only parent who has ever had that particular struggle before. However, the likelihood is that there are people who are relatively close to them who are going through the same thing. 

Nobody wants to feel like they are being misunderstood, and this feeling only gets more intense when people seem to misinterpret what they are going through when they become a mom or dad. Other parents can prove to be the worst for this, as they put so much focus on their own experience that they do not have the space for what others may be going through.

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  • a mom sits on the grass in a park with her young son sat on her lap
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • You don’t know what it’s like to be a single mom

    I was widowed in my early thirties with two kids. I'd been single about 3 years, just stopped wearing the ring a month or two before this.
    via not_a-genius
  • I'm at a park play date with a group of moms and there was a friend of the group that didn't know me.
    via not_a-genius
  • Most of what she talked about was how hard it is to be a single mom.
    via not_a-genius
  • At one point she was asking for ideas on logistics of getting her kids to school on time when they go to different schools as her oldest had just changed from elementary school to Jr.
    via not_a-genius
  • high and the other was still in 3rd grade. I had dealt with the same issue the year before and tried to offer a solution.
    via not_a-genius
  • She cut me off and said something to the effect of, "It's different for you. You could just ask your husband for help.
    via not_a-genius
  • You don't know how hard it is to be a single mom." She said it super condescendingly, like I was ridiculous for assuming I could understand.
    via not_a-genius
  • She just went on about how hard it was, and I didn't correct her, because what's the point, right?
    via not_a-genius
  • Single mom comes to another play group a few weeks later still talking about her troubles.
    via not_a-genius
  • I didn't try to offer advice, but there was a new mom who wasn't at the last group, who also knows me.
    via not-a_genius
  • Single mom is talking about how nobody could possibly understand and the new mom tells her, I think not\_a-genius understands, since she's been single longer than you.
    via not_a-genius
  • Single mom gets flustered and says she didn't realize, and I'm like it's no big deal.
    via not_a-genius
  • Then single mom tries to be friendly and is saying we should trade babysitting days and help each other with rides, and going on about how great it. will be to not pay a babysitter when going on dates.
    via not_a-genius
  • I tell her I'm not dating yet and she tells me how after your husband cheats and leaves you, you have to get right back out there for your self esteem (?).
    via not_a-genius
  • New mom overheard and says "single mom, she's a widow. She'll date if and when she's ready." At this point I get the idea that new mom does not like single mom.
    via not_a-genius
  • Single mom, not appearing to catch on, says how much harder it is for her because her husband betrayed her and chose to leave her and mine just died.
    via not_a-genius
  • New mom laughed at her and told her that's the stupidest thing she's ever heard and spilled the tea that single mom cheated for years and they were officially separated when her ex husband started dating again.
    via not_a-genius
  • Single mom goes silent and stares daggers at new mom. I was like, wow look at the time, see you guys next week.
    via not_a-genius
  • I'm introverted and very low drama, so I did not go back for a few weeks.
    via not_a-genius
  • But I still laugh about it sometimes.
    via not_a-genius
  • two children grip onto the monkey bars in a public play park
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 1amNOTmyself YouSee You never know what another person's life is like. I was a single mom for 16 years. I'm sorry for your loss, and for your ongoing struggles.
    via 1amNOTmyselfYouSee
  • not_a-genius Original Poster's Reply I didn't say anything to single mom, because it IS difficult to be a single parent, and it's not a competition. I definitely didn't like her "the world revolves around me" attitude, but some people do just need to vent. Thank you for your kindness!
    via not_a-genius
  • Safe-Tree-2314 As a widow myself with two kids who doesn't like to lead with that and hates drama too, I love New Mom! She sounds just like my best friend. Keep her around if you can! Solo parenting is harder than any of us imagine.
    via Safe-Tree-2314
  • Odd-Outcome450 I'm glad new mom tore single mom down a peg. Sorry for your loss.
    via Odd-Outcome450
  • Flat-Story-7079 The most toxic place I've ever been is the playground hanging out with moms. The most. I was the rare dad in that mix, but after being there a while I was treated like one of the gals. So much shit talking and one upping. I was so glad when my daughter went to middle school and I could leave that shit behind.
    via Flat-Story-7079

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kids moms parenting widow mom playdate single mom
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